genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
