If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
