Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
