What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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