she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
