Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
