She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
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Liz is crying about burritos again.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
50% drunk capacity currently
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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