Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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