Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you didnt know i had herpes?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
