I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Buhtt sex?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
