I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
