There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
