the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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