PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
