know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
