do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
