yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
