Already got asked if we're dating
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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