Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
