Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
