She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
