Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize