Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
