You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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