We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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