I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
