GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
