he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
