oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
