Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize