God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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