Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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