did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize