That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize