at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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