I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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