he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
