I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
