Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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