I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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