I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
