I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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