i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
