Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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