So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
