Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
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I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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