There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
