She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
