I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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