Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
