Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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