Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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