dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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