Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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