Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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