You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
