I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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