I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
