she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize