i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
the liver wants what the liver wants
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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