from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
