grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
