Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
