I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
