I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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