he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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