I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
