Please, let me fuck your mom
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
