I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
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Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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