margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
